rain

It's never been my nature much to find the immediate positives in situations. For me I always go straight to the negatives before I contemplate the positives. Always glass half empty kind of girl. I'm not sure why I do it. Perhaps if I see it from a negative then I can't be as disappointed when it goes that way. It could be that maybe I just enjoy the positive that much more not expecting it. I'm not sure but I'm sure some psychologist would be happy to charge me oodles to tell exactly why. Maybe it's all due to the fact that for as unconventional and "out there" I can be I'm really very conservative inside and am resistant to big change. Whatever the reason may be, I love a rainy day. It seems to fit my sensibilites much more than a sunny day. Don't get me wrong, I love the sunshine and being able to get out and play with the kids or walk the dogs or inspect the flowers or just sit and enjoy the outdoors. But rainy days afford me the indulgence to not have to be upbeat and excited about the day. It allows me to be contemplative about what's going on in my life, read a book without feeling like I am wasting my day or just sit and veggitate with my kids for a little bit without feeling like I'm turning them into mindless TV zombies. It gives me the excuse to bake something sugary and fattening and not feel like I need to run a mile afterwards. I get to make a comfort kind of day. Let the kids curl up with a blanket and their favorite book and read it together without feeling like we are wasting daylight. To me, sunshine equates activity. If the day is bright and the weather agreeable I feel like we must make the most of it and go, go, go. A rainy day allows me to not feel like I have to make every second of my day count. I can relax and catch up on the world of fiction and fantasy. I can spend the day in the kitchen and not feel bad that I don't want to go outside and watch everyone ride bikes. I can be grumpy and have an excuse to not talk to anyone and just blame it on the weather. Rainy days make me feel happy and expressive and feel like I can take on and conquer the world. Throw in a good thunder and lightening storm and I can shout at the world as loud as I want and feel as though it's okay and my right to do so. What I am trying to convey is that I am a girl whose feelings and emotions are strong and many times forceful. I try not to push my every action on those around me and as a result I tend to be more reserved in many things and not truly speak my mind. But when I do, it makes much more sense for a good old fashioned rain storm to give me background music than a pretty sunshine, bird filled day.