absence of time

Does anybody know what time it is, does anybody care? Whoa, whoa, whoa.....

It's a funny feeling to see the world passing me by and knowing that one day is leading into another yet having a complete absence of time. I used to be so good with time and dates. Yet being on bedrest and not having my normal routine I find myself at a loss and it bothers me. I mean, I was a stay at home mom but I watched other kids. It was never hard to know what day it was. It seems that now the only way I know it's a Saturday or Sunday versus a weekday is whether or not my husband gets up to go to work. Beyond the normal forgetfulness of pregnancy it is very bothersome to not know what day it is. I can look at the calendar in the morning but it's almost as if time has kind of lost it's meaning on me. I see the calendar, read the day and date and then almost promptly forget! Perhaps it's my own natural defense mechanism that doesn't allow me to remember so it's not quite as depressing to know I'm still so far away from delivery! Who knows? What I do know is that I miss the routine of a clock some days. It's hypocritical I know. I complain when I have such a rigid routine yet I miss the conformity of it. Perhaps it wouldn't bother me quite so much if I was able to just do whatever I wanted but since I'm limited in my options of daily life it makes a difference. But like I keep getting told, it wont last forever and there is a light at the end of the tunnel. All of those are truthful and supposedly hopeful sentiments, but when your the one sitting idle it's hard to see. Let's just say I will be happy to see a routine, any routine, return to my life. Even a new crazy one with a newborn, a toddler and a preschooler!