lost identity

Lately I've been feeling slightly overwhelmed and under appreciated. My days and nights all kind of run together leaving me feeling as though I never really accomplish much of anything. If I wasn't doing the same things every day and every night what would I be doing? I mean I take care of the children, I do the laundry, pick up the house, monitor the cat, blah blah blah. BUT what would I actually do if I had free time devoid of children, house, husband whatever? I really don't know. I could spend time out of the house which is always appealing but what would I do, where would I go? I seem to be without hobbies or real interests any more. I guess I don't miss them too much but then again, I miss them a lot. I would love to go out with a girlfriend and go window shopping or sit and vent about life, discuss a new book or whatever over coffee. Yet all my very closest friends are nowhere within the city or even the county. I have great friends but less than a handful of besties and none here. I'm not really a go on my own kind of girl and as much as a day of pampering really appeals to me.......I can't justify the cost. I've become very thrifty since becoming a parent so the thought of spending an excess of money for a few hours of me time is just not even a reasonable thought. It's crazy to feel that way I know but when I'm buying diapers and wipes and shoes and whatever I can't do anything in excess for me. My biggest spending is on my hair color and even that has been losing some of it's appeal these days. I'm just in a rut I think and being overly tired doesn't help my mood much. It's just no fun when my biggest conversations of the day take place with children under 5 or online. It's just not quite the same to have a conversation of writing vs. real talking. I mean I know I'm talking to my loved ones but it's not "real", if that makes sense. Well anyhow, I'm just saying I need a little something in my life to keep me interested and interesting. Something that defines me more than just being a Mom. I love my primary role of Mom but sometimes I too need to be a little more than that.